holiday greetings

while i still haven't gotten around to doing my christmas e-cards and i haven't snail mailed about 2 quarters of the christmas cards i wrote this year i thought i'd start posting something in my blogs, something general for my greetings to come across to everyone.

happy holidays to everyone who takes the time to check my blogs once in a while. i'll try my best to be a better blogger this coming year by posting more and no post too far in between. there's nothing worse than a blog with nothing but stale posts on it.

one thing i found out about myself

the term deviated septum always conjures up images of malin akerman's lila in the movie "the heartbreak kid". while i didn't get any bones broken during the accident not even a hairline fracture, one thing that the doctor saw in my x-rays was a deviated septum leaning towards the left possibly i was born with it. i do remember when i was around 13 years old i bumped into a post face first, maybe that could be the cause and i never just felt anything at that time. i never did suspect i have the condition, physically it isn't visible and i don't have the common symptoms of obstructed breathing, nose bleeds, or congested nose. one thing that i always bring up is maybe it's the main reason why i can't sing a note in tune to save my life and i now have a valid reason to have a nose job, a septoplasty though not a rhinoplasty.

while waiting

while waiting at the e.r. i came across this flyer and signed up to be an eye donor for the eye bank foundation of the philippines. it's for a good cause, i made my mom and sister sign the form as my witness. it's reasssuring to know that someday when and if something tragic does happen to me, i will still be of help to someone in need.

it took me two weeks to finally post this not just out of procrastination but because i couldn't find the scanned file of this form. silly reason but true. i finally just scanned the form again, which i don't know why i didn't do in first place. sometimes being human means being silly for a lot of times over our lifetime.

life

the very first question that my sister, lei asked me when she got to the hospital e.r., was if at impact did my life flash before me? i knew i wasn't going to die wednesday morning because although i was so certain that the tricycle i was riding in would collide with another tricycle in front of it, my life didn't flash before me and it wasn't the typical philippine public transport road accident wherein reckless driving was so evident, none of that scenario was present. the tricycle was running at a maximum of 20kph. when it happened i calmly crawled out of the tricycle, picked up my handbag and my canvass bag sprawled in the pavement, handed out some baby wipes and headed to the hospital. i had that much composure, i knew what i should do and i was so sure to at least reassure my mom before she gets the call either from me or from the hospital that somehow i am already being taken care of.

luckily it was running at that speed had it been running more than that, then my life would have probably flashed and i would have sustained more than contusions and gashes. the double dose of tramadol from the hospital and my adrenalin to get out from inside the tricycle the moment the collision happened made me say i was okay the whole day. the truth is when effects of both wore out by night time i can feel my whole body ache. the next morning the pain was more evident but for some reason i got up ready to go back to work. i don't love my job that much, in fact i'm in the verge of quitting but to show my boss that i am more than what she thinks that i am, i showed up at work all swollen in the face and all.

this accident is about the only third time in my entire 27 years that i ended up in a hospital e.r. because of me and not because of my brother or sister. i am somewhat different from both of them, i rarely get sick and if i do, it's the type that only merit a visit to the doctor's clinic nothing as complicated as my brother or sister have gone through. my mom as my sister told me panicked and woke up the whole house when she got my call, the hospital's call came a bit later when they have already left the house to come to the hospital. i got that sense of panic when i was telling her on the phone what happened to me, an exact opposite of my boss who even after being informed of what happened sent me a text message and gave information of a project to be rushed and told me the following day that she expected me to come to work right after the hospital.

after the accident, i still take the tricycle and nothing has really changed. i don't have poignant realizations nor long pauses to think about things. surely i am thankful to be alive. for most parts life is back to normal maybe i want to have time to rest more. i was hoping for that, wait maybe i secretly wished for it to happen so i could skip work but on the contrary i didn't get it if one day out of work quantifies time off work because of vehicular accident. instead what my boss showed me was another reason to leave the soonest because of her insensitivity.

on using the word "hate"

for about two weeks i kept thinking how i heard my boss mention that she hated one of my co-workers for not following company policy. what stuck to my mind was how she casually used the word hate over such very minor infraction with matching all the facial contortions to go with such a strong and emotional word. looking at her at that very moment i zoned out and i simply didn't want to listen to her rantings about my co-worker. she could have settled it with that person and being the boss that she is she should have pointed out that she disapproves whatever my co-worker's actions were.

in today's society as much as we are so obsessed with our quest for love, to love and be loved, we're not so careful on using certain words or terminologies that carry so much negative weight. there's always the word dislike or disapprove that can be used instead of the word hate. someone once told me to tone down using the word hate over minor things like how i would use to say that i hate japanese food, he suggested that maybe i should just say i dislike japanese food. he said that i should reserve the word hate for extreme situations that would merit usage of the word. all these years i kept his advice into mind and yes it did lessen the negativity in my life. being positive should start somewhere even switching and refining one's usage of words believe it or not could spell the difference.

blogging and working

hats off to those people who work and can still blog. i started working some two and a half months ago and i haven't blogged ever since. it's not the lack of material to write about but it's more the lack of time to do so. the industry that i work for, the fashion industry would have been such a delightful source of updated juicy information but i guess working with a lot of arrogant airheads has rubbed off on me that i find myself rather less articulate and less versed than i was when i was jobless. ah, i miss the domesticity of being jobless that has been brought on me, at least that period of my life has led me to explore what i really am interested in, reading and writing.

work does feel like work, no matter how elegantly decorated my work place is and no matter how i am surrounded by so much luxury goods that a girl could ever dream of. going to work feels like stepping into heaven but interacting with the people i work with is like hell. i sometimes wonder if it is just me or is it them? am i not a girl who loves fashion? why am i not enjoying this job who a lot of girls dream of, to be a part of the fashion scene, wasn't it exciting then when i was starting? the romance has faded and it has gone stale. the stark reality behind the all the manolos and the dolces and the make-up and the bling has faded. there was a day this past week that i aksed myself, if it's time to waltz out of work and never look back. maybe, maybe not yet.

job opportunity (project manager)

i don't know how much traffic my blog gets but i'll take my chances. i've recently started work and one of my very first assignments in my glorified "slave" position is to find a project engineer that would supervise construction and renovation for the stores of the retail company that i work for. since i like my boss and my job i want to make a good impression. so i am posting this hoping that this will be fruitful and will yield a number of resumes in my email.i am looking for a project manager in house or per project basis, a graduate of architecture or civil engineering or mechanical engineering. an experience in construction would be a plus point. if anyone is interested please email me at ldb@adora.ph. oh by the way the pay is good and i can attest to that i work for the company.

Bangsamoro Juridical Entity Opposer

I strongly oppose the Bangsamoro Juridical Entity MOA. I was born in Mindanao, Dipolog City, Zamboanga del Norte to be exact, although it won't be included in what is described as "a widen version of the ARMM". I don't think this Muslim groups will stop till they get the whole Mindanao for themselves. I am sorry but I can't be sympathetic to the idea that the BJE is for peace, it sounds and looks more like a pacifier for the very power greedy throwing a tantrum and Malacanang can't do anyhting about it except hand over what they want. I won't be surprised if one these days the MNLF or MILF or whoever decides to pick up the cause of the "poor plight of the Filipino Muslims" would ask for the whole country to be handed over to them.

I am apolitical even during the time that I worked for a politician but I can't help but voice my opinion mixed with very personal concerns with regards to the explosion of the news with regards to the BJE MOA. This issue does hit close to home. The BJE did creep out of nowhere. No one was really aware about it except for those who were involved in the process of this deal. I hope that this BJE MOA will never see full realization because Mindanao isn't just for the MILF or Muslims, there are other people who lives there who wouldn't want to be under a Muslim dominated rule.

my recent book wishlist

my obsession for books hasn't waned. this is my recent book wish list.

delightful graphics

sheila sent me an email with such delightful graphics that amused me so much. the words were a bit cheesy but i decided to save and post here on my blog 2 of my favorite out of 8 graphics in that email.

1. this one seems like the ducks were fighting but the the pop-up would reveal that they're arguing in a rather amusing way about being best friends.


2. this image of the peanuts gang is very reminiscent of my childhood days watching loads videos from our then vcr. those were the good old days.

tales of beedle the bard by j.k. rowling

sometime ago this book came out, about seven copies of the handwritten original that j.k. rowling gave to the certain people that she felt deserved to have that gem of a book. one was auctioned for about $4 million sold to amazon. now it is made available. i can't describe how giddy i felt when i opened an email from barnes and noble with this book as the message. i can't wait for it to come out. as everyone knows the tales of beedle the bard is the book that hermione inherited from dumbledore. so much of the tales has helped the trio of hermione, ron, and harry on the seventh book.

go on girl

i love this song. i know it's not the latest ne-yo song but this has got to be my favorite song of his. i wish i have the bravado of this song when in relationship troubles. oh well at least that was all in the past. i may have looked like crazy on some break-ups, cried my eyes out, and begged at one point, yes i begged but at least i learned from it and i moved on. i learned that it's better to be alone than in a relationship that has always placed doubt on the back of my mind. i am happily single by choice.

freelance writing

i took an extra job of freelance writing fairly recently. i enjoy doing it but most of the time i get pressured by the 24 hour deadline. i applied for this job since i am mostly online and i do write. my blog is one evidence of that writing excluding the emails and the journal that i keep. the only problem i have encountered recently is that my freelance writing job has taken my mojo for my other writing passions. my blog has been stagnant for almost a month again, my emails suck, and my journal hasn't had any entry. it is as if my creativity if i could call it that and my vocabulary is being stretched every time i take an assignment there is nothing left for writing that isn't paid. i love the extra income part of freelance writing the most. it's fast and easy income, i may complain about my missing writing mojo but i can't complain about the extra cash. i just have to remind myself that there are downsides to everything. it's not as if my blog is updated constantly as i'd like it to be with or without my freelancing job.

why i disliked jumper?

i stopped myself short of titling this blog into "why i hate jumper?" because someone once told me that hate is such a strong word and he suggested that i use the word dislike instead. from then on i would always check myself on whether using the word hate is necessary in any situation that i am faced with. jumper is only a movie, the latest on my dvd watching odyssey, so i refrained from using hate in my aforementioned title.

i watched jumper with a preconceived notion that it must be good, it was a huge hit in the box office and it has an amazing movie trailer. in my laziness i didn't read any movie reviews, i just based my dvd borrowing this time by what seemed cool. unfortunately for me what seemed cool happened to be a poor excuse to make a movie with hayden christensen, jamie bell, rachel bilson, and samuel l. jackson in it. the storyline was lacking on the explanation of why jumpers and palladins exist except that they have been for centuries fighting to eradicate each other. i don't even buy the sequel reason because it was a movie that lingered with too much of its show-off shots and dabbled with a romantic side but no real story and a lot of hanging issues that instead of wanting more, pissed me off. it's not even a superhero movie that allows the superfluous ability of hayden's character, david rice, to teleport. there purpose is what's missing from this movie other than a straight storyline.

interesting

i posted this as an homage to what is possibly the most influential tv show for the women of this generation. it was a tv show that changed how we talked about sex, how we viewed our friendships, and how we deal with our never ending quest of that one guy who will love us and we will love in return. while sex and the city at times was viewed as certainly hedonistic and all gloss it was interesting that in all of that there is wisdom that can be applied to our realities.

10 Love Lessons From 'Sex and the City'

By Valerie Reiss Beliefnet Updated: Jun 6, 2008

Through my late 20s I was with the girls all the way, even though I often thought their romantic choices were misguided, obviously wrong, spiritually and psychologically clueless, superficial, selfish, and jaded. Pretty much like most of my own.
But in a city where love can be as elusive as affordable housing, "Sex and the City" gave so many of us perspective, validation, and reminders of the core lessons of love -- sometimes in spite of itself, sometimes in the scripts. With the ladies hitting the big screen, here's a bit of what I've learned, or remembered, about love thanks to Carrie and Co.

1. Single is Not a Dirty Word
The SATC gals transformed "single"--"spinster"'s more evolved cousin--from being a hole to a presence; they made singledom cool. Even when it hurt.
One of my favorite moments is when Carrie's silver Manolos get swiped from a smug-married's apartment and the friend refuses to reimburse her. She lectures Carrie about spending too much on shoes and not enough on family, playing right in to her singleton's shame.
This, after Carrie has bought engagement, wedding, shower, and baby gifts for her. In a genius move, Carrie registers herself at Manolo Blahnik just for those shoes, single "bride" that she is, forcing the friend to pay up. To me this said the single life is just as valid as the married. We deserve as many gifts and even blessings from our friends and society, regardless of what others might think of our struggles and choices.

2. It's Okay to Expose All to Your Girlfriends
Women talked about sex with their friends long before SATC. But the show gave us permission on a large scale to get graphic and detailed in cathartic and hilarious ways. It was like a six-season long Consciousness Raising group with better outfits.

3. Fate is Not Always Fate
It's so tempting to interpret the tea leaves of love, to decide that fate is (finally) working in our favor. When Trey saved Charlotte from being mowed down by a speeding taxi, she decided it was fate. Not just that he was a nice guy who saved her life, but that he must be the guy to live out her "marry tale" with.
Turns out--not so much, and I think after that divorce, Char developed a very different notion of fate, i.e.-we don't know how the universe works and just because it seems like synchronicity, it doesn't mean you have to marry the dude. A lesson better remembered than re-experienced.

4. Sometimes to Be Real You Have to Get Ugly
When Charlotte first met her handsomely chiseled divorce lawyer, she kept to the prim, nice decorum that defined her. When she realized she needed to be fierce --and ugly-- to battle her Bunny-in-law, she dropped him for sweaty, obnoxious, bald Harry Goldenblatt and then felt free to be as nasty as she wanted to be, fangs and all. Turns out he found her "incredibly sexy" anyway. And once she was able to shatter her preppy, WASPy notion of her ideal man, voila, there he was, right in front of her.

5. Be Vulnerable
More than anyone else on the show, Samantha and her mien of steel taught us that true strength is in opening and trust. She started to get this from her girl-flame Maria ("I've got monogomy, I think I caught it from you people") but mostly from her hot-hot boyfriend Smith Jarrod.
First, he forced on her his "perverse" desire to hold hands, and then, most touchingly, shaved off his golden locks when she lost hers to chemo. We all have an inner Samantha--the part that feigns bravado in the face of pain and trusts no one. Watching her set down her insecurity-as-sword reminded all us tough girls to do the same.

6. There's a Difference Between Childlike and Childish
In perhaps my favorite episode, a guy named Wade had a comic book store, a great record collection, and a scooter. Carrie was justifiably wooed when he drew a cartoon of her telling her to call him. And the girl needed some fun! Mr. Big? Sexy, complicated, but no bag of jacks.
With Wade, she played video games, took a spin on the scooter, got stoned on the balcony of his surprisingly vast Park Avenue apartment. Turned out the guy was living with his parents. And not only that, he lied to his mom that they were smoking Carrie's pot. Lesson? If he seems like a kid, investigate to make sure he's also an adult.

7. Know When to Kiss Goodbye
Miranda asked a date up to her apartment. He declined, claiming to have "an early meeting." Later, she asked Carrie's man of the hour for insight. Berger said, "He's just not that into you," and "When a guy's really into you, he's coming upstairs, meeting or no meeting."
Miranda is instantly liberated, giddy with the blame-free simplicity of it. Of course in real life, sadly, it's not always so simple. But through this and countless other moments, the show taught us that letting go is never easy--even when he's "not into you"--but that if you don't walk away when you know you should, only misery, over-analysis, and disappointment awaits.

8. Don't Mistake Scraps for Jewels
"It was the single most encouraging moment in our relationship." Was Carrie talking about Big sharing his heart with her? Giving her a thoughtful present? Nope. She said this when he gave her the "only" extra pink toothbrush head one night.
Sure, it was the only baby step toward accepting her into his life that he was capable of. But all of us need to love ourselves enough not to mistake glitter for diamonds, scraps for a meal--exactly what that toothbrush head was.

9. Read the Signs
When Carrie got engaged to Aidan, she promptly strung the gorgeous Harry Winston ring around her neck instead of putting it on her finger. Score one for costume designer Patricia Field for the fresh accessory, minus one very big one for the happy future of Carrie and Aidan. Both continued to ignore the signs of doom--like so many of us do--in exchange for hope.
It was a reminder to all of us not to ignore those persistent yet subtle doubts, accumulating red flags--and full-blown panic attacks--no matter how much we want something to work out.

10. Patience and Compromise
Sure, the show was often about taking, and Goddess knows the characters' self-absorption grated horribly sometimes. But as the ladies matured, we saw more and more examples of selfless compromise.
Miranda agreed to have her son Brady baptized even though it conflicted strongly with her beliefs; Charlotte converted to Judaism to be with Harry; and most hilariously, Harry put on underwear to sit on Charlotte's pristine white sofa. As for patience, the girls had a giant Birkin bag full of it for each other. And Carrie, in spite of herself had it big-time with Big.

why i love juno?

while returning the latest dvd that i borrowed, juno, from the local video store, the customer attendant asked me if i liked the movie. i said "of course", why not it was a very charming yet very unconventional movie. it was how i would describe juno, the main character herself. the customer attendant whom i am pretty much acquainted with by now, found it to be boring, something that made my pupils dilate in disbelief. i don't want to contradict anyone's taste, after all it is a free country and i've always said "to each his own" in tastes and opinions. juno happens to be a very big success in hollywood being an indie movie. of course it had its fair share of controversy being blamed for its supposed influence towards teen girls in america, that being pregnant is "cool". the movie isn't what the controversy describes it to be, juno the character is cool, being pregnant is not by the number of times that juno herself complained on how uncomfortable pregnancy is.

the movie itself has a very simple plot, 16 year old girl gets pregnant, didn't want to have an abortion, and instead found a very nice couple, at the pages of penny saver, who was looking for a baby to adopt. it was this couple that brings some of the conflict, well not to discount juno's stepmom, to also bring a mild mix of conflict as well. a few bumps along the way including juno's baby bump, the movie ended with a very happy ending. it was what was aptly narrated somewhere near the end parts of the movie, it was a love story in reverse. juno fell in love with the baby's father, blecker, after the baby was born. juno the movie had the right mix of humor, melodrama, and poignant moments that left my eyes twinkling with a bit of tears.

my lakbayan grade

My Lakbayan grade is C-!

How much of the Philippines have you visited? Find out at Lakbayan!

Created by Eugene Villar.

i have taken this test several times now and i still get a c- rating. this is the first time though that i am publicly posting my rating, out of shame i have never wanted to post this but i want to share to the handful who regularly check my blog.

i know the reason why. although i have taken time to see the philippines, what i have done is simply revisit the places i have been to already. i haven't gone out on any other places that i haven't been to. a list of places that i haven't been to in the country includes bohol, boracay, baguio believe it or not, banaue, ilocos sur, and ilocos norte, and oh well about 7,000 more islands.

blogging hiatus

my blog has been on a hiatus for more than a month for a succession of reasons, primary of which is the classic "busy excuse", my pc conked out and etc. i have quite a lot of blog articles in the back burner that has been on the draft folder for months and months now. one of which is my sonja's cupcakes very overdue write up. hopefully sometime this week and the next i will be able to update not just my blog, but also my social networking site (i.e. friendster). i still am busy but i am getting to a point that it is becoming manageable.

my current book wish list

everyone knows my incessant impulse and need to buy books. these books are on my current wish list. i can't wait to get my hands on any of these, well all of these.

studio versions

my favorite studio version of any american idol performances of season 7, is michael john's across the universe. i can't seem to get enough of his version of this beatles song that i have been listening to it for most of my waking hours in the past three days. more than any other time in my american idol season addiction, i have become a very big fan of michael johns, silly since he has been out of the competition weeks ago. click here to view and listen........

christmas cards in may

i was pleasantly surprised when i opened one of the five email inboxes that i own. i got an email from my dear friend timi, while it isn't unusual to receive emails from her, getting personally written emails is sporadic. it was the usual catching up email but what struck a chord in me was that, it was a christmas card that started that very heartfelt and heartwarming email. they were moving to a new house somewhere in new york and while going to the process of moving out, she found an old christmas card i sent her.

i love sending out christmas cards, from ecards which hallmark.com generously provides for free to the real tangible snail mail type. i have a mailing list and an emailing list which every year i add on to. last december 2007 with what happened to my sister and almost spending christmas day at the hospital i didn't get around to snail mailing any christmas cards at all. i did get around my ecard list since i have done that in november 2007, with one click of course it was programmed to be sent christmas eve. unfortunately for those who aren't techies or technology savvy relatives like my grandmother and some others i missed out on them and i still feel upset everytime i open my correspodence drawer and i see a stack of unsent christmas cards. fortunately for me, i could recycle those cards since i didn't have time to put dates on any. i could use those this coming christmas which is about eight months from now. a very good proposition for a gal like me who likes to start very early on my christmas preparations. silly but it is just a way to console myself that no matter how much i prepare for my favorite holiday some things do happen, and life happens no matter how i will prepare, things go wrong and it will be out of my control completely.

it is a welcoming knowledge that something like a christmas card could sustain a friendship and a sporadic personally written email could lead to a blog about christmas cards in may. odd but hey it's life!

didn't forget,i just didn't care

i felt neither shock nor dismay when she was booted out of american idol i simply didn't care about her and was only reminded that she was the latest idol cast-off when i saw her at ellen's talk show last night. so i thought i should write a post on carly the shouty one in american idol's season 7. while she may not seem to be the one who deserved an exit on idol on andrew lloyd webber week, she should be booted out some time or another. so whether it was a rather premature exit or not i really couldn't care less this time.

i should share this

i wrote this essay several months ago with the intention of entering a writing contest in a daily broadsheet. i did send it as an entry but i think it wasn't as good as i thought this was so it wasn't published. i ended up buying every sunday edition of the broadsheet for about three months hoping that it will be that issue that i will see this essay on print. since it didn't get published there, i thought, well there's always a different platform and what very convenient platform than my blog.

THE INDIA INSIDE OF ME
By Lalimarie D. Bhagwani

As I am once again preparing for another foreign trip, I am once again reminded of how my surname always merit me a second look or sometimes the more extreme grilling questions and double frisking at NAIA immigration. It’s always that one question if whether I am who my passport says I am or if I am Filipino at all. My features look more Spanish mestiza which greatly contradicts my distinctly Indian surname. A surname I acquired not by marriage, as I am very much single, but by being born into it.

The Indian part of me ends in my surname. We were raised as Filipinos and more specifically “Bisaya”. That would have been different if the man to whom I got this surname was part of our lives, but he wasn’t and never will be.

My paternal grandfather was an Indian national who came to the Philippines before World War II. I’m not quite sure if he really does have movie star good looks or is it just because of how black and white photos always makes anyone good looking. My paternal grandmother though swears he is a drop dead gorgeous man. A very old photo reproduced through the help of modern technology is the only image that I know of my grandfather. What I know of Leilaram, his name, is limited to what we have been told by my maternal grandmother. My paternal grand parents separated a long time ago. My father was about a year old at that time and my grand mother was pregnant with their youngest child. He may seem like the biggest slack for leaving his family and going back to India but that was their story and that was a lifetime ago, marriages fail and what we got is a name, a surname at that. He left but quite contrary to the very common idea of not looking back, he looked back and tried to reach out to the family that he left. During my childhood I remember my aunts and uncles fussing over the idea of my grandfather writing and asking for reconciliation. I vividly remember how adamant they were at refusing to let him reconcile with them. My grandmother by my reckoning was too proud. I didn’t get to read that letter of reconciliation, what I did get to read, with the help of my very conscientious mother who gave me a glimpse of who and what Leilaram is, she kept a letter my grandfather sent my dad when he got married to my mom. I cried when I read that letter it was the sum of all that I could ever get to know of him. He seemed to have a very active imagination, he was a story teller from what I could tell, and he seemed to have a very kind heart; all my impressions of him from a yellowed almost tattered piece of paper that somehow helped me fill in the gaps of my history. While my father secretly held a desire to seek a reunion with his father, he like the rest of the family was swayed by pride and abandoned that desire. A desire I too was holding close to my heart. I almost wish at that time that I had a great persuading power to change everyone’s mind because I know that reuniting with Leilaram is an integral and essential part if not for my grandmother or my father and his siblings but for us the grandchildren. It would have been our chance to decide whether he is what he is from all the stories we have been repeatedly told or was he an entirely different person that we could have had the chance to find out.

Growing up surrounded by the stigma towards Indian nationals living here in the Philippines, I would be teased by the very common racial slurs hurled at every “Bombay who’s into 5/6 and selling payong riding in a motorcycle with a turban in his head”. While I have been teased about all that, I was never traumatized because at the same time being teased as “Bombay” I was also teased as “mestizang bangus”. I just thought that all those who teased me were plain stupid in the head because they couldn’t even see the irony of their teases. Besides I’m not so scared of punching anyone who didn’t know how to stop teasing as a matter of fact my mom has been called to school because I did punch someone in grade two once, we eventually became friends though, after she has forgiven me.

In my teens while teasing still came my way once in a while I was saved from that by going to a bigger school where the population was a bit more diverse and pure blooded Indian schoolmates came a lot more than my elementary school. If teasing happened in my elementary years, questions arose in my high school years and for most of my adult life. I would always be asked about India. I would always end up openmouthed. What I know of India, I learned from the travel channel, from what I read in history books and travel magazines, and from what I heard from people who have been there. I don’t know much about half of my origins because of some unfortunate family events and I keep getting asked about that other half.

As an adult I have a great responsibility to learn about that other half of my story. I don’t have an identity crisis, I know who I am Filipino and Proud, but to fill the missing pages of my story I will have to someday pack my bags to go to India. Not just this trip yet but someday. It will be for me to learn, to see, to taste the flavors of India, and to experience both beauty and chaos. That trip will not include reunion plans anymore as my grandfather died years ago. It will just be a trip to help me answer some questions and help fill some pages of my life’s story, the least of that story will be about where my surname came from, the country not the person anymore.

i didn't get paid for this

i know that this blog may appear like an informercial of some product i was paid to promote, but i didn't get paid to blog about this product. i am almost done with one bottle of olay body creme ribbons with almond oil and i can't help but rave about how great this body wash is. by far the most moisturizing of all that i have ever used, not even dove body wash or bliss spa's body wash can compare. i never really thought much about this olay product since i have used olay creme soap and it wasn't as good as this one. it was worth all the hype when it first came out and i first read about this on cosmopolitan magazine in u.s. in 2005.

and finally america got it right...

more than overdue, kristy lee has finally left american idol season 7. in my opinion she should have long been gone when she wrecked the beatles "8 days a week". well better late than never america. kristy lee is pretty and she sure seems to be a very pleasant person but she isn't really my type of performer or her music isn't just for me.

top 5

it may seem too early to decide on my top five performances of american idol season 7 but david cook's version of "always be my baby" has inspired me to think of the contestants' performances that has been stuck in my head and performances i have repeatedly been listening to.

my top five american idol performances as of now, april 16, 2008:



1. david cook "always be my baby" click here to view...
2. david cook "hello" click here to view...
3. michael johns "queen medley" click here to view...
4. jason castro "hallelujah" click here to view...
5. ramiele malubay "you don't have to say you love me" click here to view...

lions for lambs

i have been on a dvd marathon since last january. most of the films i have seen were rather forgettable but i have managed to acquire some new favorites. the latest dvd i have seen was, lions for lambs. i was anticipating this movie ever since i read about it in time or was it newsweek, i forgot my new diet has managed to make me forgetful these past couple of weeks. i kept coming back to the video store to inquire about when it would come out for sale or for rent. i don't subscribe to piracy so i have to wait and i haven't seen a movie at the cinema for more than a year except for "the assassination of jesse james by the coward robert ford", which i won invites to watch its advance screening. for a movie buff like me who used to watch a movie or two at the cinema weekly, watching movies at home has lured me for the sheer pleasure of having the remote to pause, rewind, and watch the entire movie again anytime i want to.

lions for lambs isn't quite as long as i had expected it to be. just a little bit over an hour and a half, which helps by the way because 26 minutes into the movie felt like an hour to me. it's not boring, the movie had that effect on me because the conversations in the movie were so packed with details i didn't want to miss every line. i watched the movie twice, that was how much i wanted to pay attention to this robert redford film. this movie is very apt and very timely. it successfully mixed the current state of american politics with the war they are fighting in afghanistan and iraq and how it transcends to other aspects of american life. of course just like any other movie more than that magazine article, what spurred my curiosity over this movie is the all star cast of meryl streep, tom cruise, and robert redford both starring and directing the film. it didn't do well on the box office despite those details and most critics giving it a b/c rating. i can't dispel that but i liked this film and i even have moments where i actually felt like what this film is saying is relevant and true and yes maybe it can only be just another hollywood film trying its best to be introspective of the current reality, but this is the best that hollywood has produced to mirror that introspection. this movie has a point and a message. my opinion is that americans are only nostalgic of the wars that they fought but they never want to be reminded that they currently fighting a war against terrorism right now. this maybe the reason why this movie wasn't as successful as it should be or it could be that i may be one of those few who didn't get bored through all the dialogue and i am alone in my opinion that this is worth watching. the reasoning is that it's worth the time because it is politically rousing.

after i watched the movie just like andrew garfield's character, todd hayes, right at the very end of the movie, i was left staring at the screen long after the credits has rolled. i was thinking, this movie made me think. after thinking, i watched it again, and i was able to feel what made me think in the first place. afterwards i can't help but wonder how many are like arian and ernest, the characters played by michael pena and derek luke. how brave they were while their politicians in washington were deciding their fate based on policies, while the media takes their stories as commodities to be sold to the public, and how most of us are just indifferent to the cause.

america made some big mistake on this one

the announcement that michael johns was the one leaving american idol was such a big shock. it was one of those moments that i have to say that this one america made a a huge mistake. michael is one of the most talented and sexiest american idol contestant ever. it's one less reason to watch the show.

everyone at home is still recovering from the shock of michael being eliminated. my mom was driven to a cleaning frenzy even if she really doesn't have to. yes that is how upset she was and she broke a couple of champagne flutes in the process. so she got more upset. then she just blurted out that she's banning american idol at home, more like she's not watching anymore. we still would be watching and cheering for david cook.

pet care

i don't want to preach but i was browsing through books at national bookstore in glorietta during one of those saturdays, when my sister has to go and get some art supplies for her art classes, while waiting for her i found this book. this book has to be mandatory for every pet owner. i own seven dogs and i find this quite helpful when trying to decide whether they need professional help or they could have home remedy instead. it's quite tricky since dogs can't talk and when they are a bit under the weather they just either mope or growl when disturbed. it doesn't take away the role of a veterenarian but somehow it has increased my knowledge as a pet owner and has also given me the power to ask and not just nod at whatever the vet says.




while this one has been very interesting and helpful as well. this pet care companion series i was able to get from the bargain table of national bookstore in greenbelt for just P95 last december. this book has gone to more than health issues to include grooming, behavior, and dietary concerns. it eases the burden because having pets is like raising a baby and whatever choices a pet owner decides the pet is stuck with it since it is on the mercy of its humans.

i am for responsible pet ownership and against animal cruelty. this blog is dedicated to my cute and cuddly furry, four legged friends; lulu, princess, labli jane, legolas, arwen, aragorn, and patricka star.

that pinoy pride

it was inevitable, it has been quite some time since ramiele had a performance that impressed the judges. i just never thought that she would be booted out before kristy lee cook. ramiele has a great voice that wasn't showcased enough in american idol. i felt very sad last night. i guess i would only have david cook and michael johns as my reasons to watch american idol.

earth day 2008

april 22nd of this year will mark the celebration of earth day which reminded me to search for that article i happen to have scanned on the front page of the philippine star a couple of weeks ago. it was a worrying headline for every filipino who hasn't left the country or for every filipino who has always dreamt of settling back in the country. that headline stated that the philippines is the 38th most polluted country in the world. i tried searching for that article in the philippine star's database but to no avail. i might not have searched well enough but interestingly i stumbled into some interesting facts along the way. for one i stumbled upon this fact of the 50 most populous countries in the world. coincidentally, population is one of the biggest factor of climate change and global warming. it's that spike in the world's human population that has propelled us into the critical levels of pollution and global warming. to take a closer look in the list, the philippines is the 12th on the list, for such a small country to have so many people for sure it has had its toll environmentally. our government should re-think their policies on population control and for once think sensibly minus the pressure of the catholic church against contraception and sex education. to discuss further on this issue is entirely another blog entry.

World's 50 Most Populous Countries: 2007
Rank
Country
Population

1.
China
1,321,851,888

2.
India
1,129,866,154

3.
United States
301,139,947

4.
Indonesia
234,693,997

5.
Brazil
190,010,647

6.
Pakistan
169,270,617

7.
Bangladesh
150,448,339

8.
Russia
141,377,752

9.
Nigeria
135,031,164

10.
Japan
127,467,972

11.
Mexico
108,700,891

12.
Philippines
91,077,287

13.
Vietnam
85,262,356

14.
Germany
82,400,996

15.
Egypt
80,264,543

16.
Ethiopia
76,511,887

17.
Turkey
71,158,647

18.
Iran
65,397,521

19.
Thailand
65,068,149

20.
Congo, Dem. Rep.
64,606,759

21.
France
61,083,916

22.
United Kingdom
60,776,238

23.
Italy
58,147,733

24.
Korea, South
49,044,790

25.
Myanmar
(Burma)
47,373,958

26.
Ukraine
46,299,862

27.
Colombia
44,227,550

28.
South Africa
43,997,828

29.
Sudan
42,292,929

30.
Spain
40,448,191

31.
Argentina
40,301,927

32.
Poland
38,518,241

33.
Tanzania
38,139,640

34.
Kenya
36,913,721

35.
Morocco
33,757,175

36.
Canada
33,390,141

37.
Algeria
33,333,216

38.
Afghanistan
31,889,923

39.
Uganda
30,262,610

40.
Nepal
28,901,790

41.
Peru
28,674,757

42.
Uzbekistan
27,780,059

43.
Saudi Arabia
27,601,038

44.
Iraq
27,499,638

45.
Venezuela
26,084,662

46.
Malaysia
24,821,286

47.
Korea, North
23,301,725

48.
Taiwan
23,174,294

49.
Ghana
22,931,299

50.
Romania
22,276,056

Source: U.S. Census Bureau, International Database.

still looking for that philippine star article, i clicked on this study done by the blacksmith institute which has sparked not just headlines but strong contradictions from politicians some time back. on its list is meycuayan, bulacan and involving a river on its municipal territory. it also has marilao as another municipality in this country which is primarily polluted by SME clusters on its areas.

it really is worrying, i think my only consolation is that the philippines isn't on the top 10 or even top 20, but still out of about 200 countries the philippines being a small country has managed to be in the 25% of the dirtiest and most polluted. what's sad is that unlike some countries, the philippines won't have the resources to help it's environment to heal and to repair. it can't even deal with social services, road building, and education because the whole country has been focused on its politics and the politicians are busy trying their best to stay in power and to pocket more money from every opportunity they can.

since pollution has already been always equated to the looming problem of global warming, on a personal note, i have taken steps to at least lower my carbon footprint. at home we have switched to energy efficient light bulbs and more than helping the environment, it has greatly helped lower the electricity bill by almost 15%-20%, i also always unplug everytime i go out, or am done with the tv, pc, or whatever appliance it is. trash at home is carefully segregated to minimize what ends up in the dumpsite and what gets sent out for recycling. most of the time i take public transportion, it's not so bad as long as you know the area quite well. even in my shopping habits i have applied eco-friendly principles into it, i would only buy if i need it and the want to have is so strong it has made me sleepless, because whatever purchases that ends up to be useless could later end up in the trash that could very well end up in the dumpsite. i also like the concept of ukay-ukay since it is a great way to recycle things that don't easily biodegrade and it's such a haven for great bargains and high fashion stuff in most times. of course i have things in my wishlist that i wish to be able to do and have to be more eco-friendly, maybe when i could afford a greener lifestyle, hopefully soon.

must have, must work for

these are the two gadgets that i would love to buy ASAP.

the reader digital book from sony so that i won't be able to debate which book to bring on any trip. that's 160 books on internal memory and there's always expandable memory for more books to be downloaded. oh my, dear me i want one!!!


of course my dream still of replacing the good old digital camera to a samsung nv series digital camera. this time though in the nv series it's the nv 24hd that i really want.



so a note to myself to work hard for it.

american idol season 7

i haven't been much of an american idol fan. i remember being irritated everytime arlene, a very dear friend of mine back in l.a., would text to remid me to vote for jasmine trias back then. although i liked kelly clarkson the very first american idol, i only started paying attention to the show during taylor hick's season, which i guess was season 5. first i genuinely liked taylor's charisma premature gray hair and all and i liked katharine mcphee and elliot yamin and i can't leave out chris daughtry. then last year after my very gruelling political stint i was able to catch the tail end of season 6. i have to admit that i was rooting for blake though he didn't win, a neat 1st runner up was good enough to launch a career for him.

for season 7 admittedly my week revolves on the anticipation of american idol day. i know it sounds like a looser couch potato life, but this is very rare for me to have this much time in my life. this season has produced head turning talents. my absolute favorite is david cook, "the rock god", who managed to rock every song he has ever performed. i can't also take away ramiele from my list being pinay and that voice clarity that no one else has among her competitors. michael johns and chikezie would be two of the other idol top 10 whom i also wouldn't mind winning.

as for those whom i could skip i have to say i dislike carly smithson, an early favorite who somewhere along the way disappointed me by not living up to the hype by continually adding that signature scream-like part in every song she sings. kristy lee cook, what can i say, just plain old boring and i have to borrow simon's "forgettable" adjective for her.

in general, this is a very good season. hey there's even eye-candy with talent in jason castro. there's the sunshine like attitude of brooke white and david archuleta's almost stellar performances save for that teeny bit where he forgot the lyrics on beatles week 1. syesha mercado well she can just be that dark horse having very good perfomances this two consecutive weeks.

still it will be david cook, rock on!

easter greetings

happy easter everyone. although i have mostly slacked off the religious activities and duties for most of the holy week except for the palm sunday mass and the easter mass, to my mother;'s disappointment, i hope that it was still meaningful for the rest of you.

the assassination of jesse james by the coward robert ford

i have obliged myself of writing a review of the movie, "the assassination of jesse james by the coward robert ford". i was lucky enough to score two tickets of the advance screening by etc 2nd avenue's 3rd row last monday at glorietta 4. i have read and heard about it from all the entertainment shows and of course my favorite new york times movie reviews. i won't be relying on that though. i have a pretty good idea of what i want to say.




the entire movie was dedicated to jesse james' last days and the circumstances that lead to his being murdered. jesse james was this outlaw, folk hero and robin hood type depending on which opinions are to asked who made his living out of robbing trains and banks in the post civil war america . a temperamental person which i can almost see some hints of restrained psychosis and sociopathic behavior. that would have been how i saw him based from the movie. some of the scenes were so shocking almost a break from the very slow pace of the entire movie. that very slow pace highlighted the violence yet in some ways the way jesse james as portrayed by brad pitt seemed so charismatically cool yet so feared by his uncontrollable outbursts. robert ford the assassin of course played by the brilliant casey affleck did so well in presenting an enigmatic stalker to jesse james. the aloof and myserious bob ford the new and eager recruit.

i always wondered why the title of the movie describes robert ford as a coward and towards the end of the movie i felt like that by killing jesse, bob ford would helped the world by getting rid of a menace. only just then that bob killed jesse for personal reasons not some mighty and noble expectations that he had reserved fo himself. he profited from the reward that the governor has put up for the arrest of jesse james and profited from how the murdered took place by staging a play around post civil war america.

the movie was beautiful, most especially the cinematography. the slow moving and sweeping shots were magnificent and the abruptness of the violent scenes higlighted the storytelling. my mom did raise this point though how would this movie attract modern viewers who are used to past paced action packed thrillers? to me while watching, it was break from this time, from the now of my life and i took a trip to another time and place to witness a piece of history and to learn something new in details, in moving pictures, in a movie where there was superb acting.

heart break

my heart was broken by my favorite amazing race team ever that has come out both of the american version and the asian version by loosing. it has a lot to do about marc and rovilson representing my home country of the philippines in the amazing race asia 2. they are made of a different caliber. they were witty, good looking ,and they have that sense of calm that seems a lot like grace under pressure in a very grueling reality tv show that has usually brought out a lot of ugly and untoward behavior from other contestants all throughout the history of the amazing race. from consistently being on the top for most of the race they ended up third place by that last road block that required rovilson to arrange in order the flags of each country that they have visited in the entire course of the race. i was on the edge of my seat for the finale, i didn't even mind that i was home for valentine's day very much single. all i could think of was the finale and would marc and rovilson win. unfortunately they lost. i am still proud of them and how they have been a very strong formidable team but i am still very much broken hearted at the same time.

the grammys

before the grammys was aired. i saw an online poll that rihanna's or amy winhouse's performance was the most anticipated. i can't argue about that because i too anticipated their performances. but in my list this was the best performance and the most enchanting of all the performances in the 50th grammy awards.

must have, must buy for the book addict in me

i own too many books more than i know where i could put them but there a lot of books still waiting to be bought and read. this is my current wishlist or more likely must buy list. i love to try and put some description on why each one of them ended up in my list but there's one common denominator in all of them they're interesting and they're making a buzz in bestseller's list or just by word of mouth.