life

the very first question that my sister, lei asked me when she got to the hospital e.r., was if at impact did my life flash before me? i knew i wasn't going to die wednesday morning because although i was so certain that the tricycle i was riding in would collide with another tricycle in front of it, my life didn't flash before me and it wasn't the typical philippine public transport road accident wherein reckless driving was so evident, none of that scenario was present. the tricycle was running at a maximum of 20kph. when it happened i calmly crawled out of the tricycle, picked up my handbag and my canvass bag sprawled in the pavement, handed out some baby wipes and headed to the hospital. i had that much composure, i knew what i should do and i was so sure to at least reassure my mom before she gets the call either from me or from the hospital that somehow i am already being taken care of.

luckily it was running at that speed had it been running more than that, then my life would have probably flashed and i would have sustained more than contusions and gashes. the double dose of tramadol from the hospital and my adrenalin to get out from inside the tricycle the moment the collision happened made me say i was okay the whole day. the truth is when effects of both wore out by night time i can feel my whole body ache. the next morning the pain was more evident but for some reason i got up ready to go back to work. i don't love my job that much, in fact i'm in the verge of quitting but to show my boss that i am more than what she thinks that i am, i showed up at work all swollen in the face and all.

this accident is about the only third time in my entire 27 years that i ended up in a hospital e.r. because of me and not because of my brother or sister. i am somewhat different from both of them, i rarely get sick and if i do, it's the type that only merit a visit to the doctor's clinic nothing as complicated as my brother or sister have gone through. my mom as my sister told me panicked and woke up the whole house when she got my call, the hospital's call came a bit later when they have already left the house to come to the hospital. i got that sense of panic when i was telling her on the phone what happened to me, an exact opposite of my boss who even after being informed of what happened sent me a text message and gave information of a project to be rushed and told me the following day that she expected me to come to work right after the hospital.

after the accident, i still take the tricycle and nothing has really changed. i don't have poignant realizations nor long pauses to think about things. surely i am thankful to be alive. for most parts life is back to normal maybe i want to have time to rest more. i was hoping for that, wait maybe i secretly wished for it to happen so i could skip work but on the contrary i didn't get it if one day out of work quantifies time off work because of vehicular accident. instead what my boss showed me was another reason to leave the soonest because of her insensitivity.