Sunday, February 8, 2009

a busted gaydar and getting help from my sister to fix it

last weekend while at booksale, a used bookstore, my sister decided to buy this book for me. god knows and she knows i need this book and more to help me fix my busted gaydar. i have a hard time distinguishing gay men from straight men and even if i know they're gay at times i still get attracted to them. biggest primary example are nate berkus and the queer eye for the straight guy gays, the list goes a bit longer but out of shame i'll end the name dropping of my gay crushes. gay crushes which at times i seem to refuse to believe they are gay as if when they are straight i'd ever get a chance to be with them. silly but true.

i know a guy is gay only and when i am closely interacting with him but i can't spot a gay guy from say a party, some people have that talent that they can spot a gay guy from one encounter. also of course i would know if a guy is gay when he's done a bebe gandanghari (transvestite) in public. being gay isn't bad at all and in my eyes just fabulous but when my sister bought the book for me, i know she has had enough of my social faux pas, dreaming too much on gay men.

i still haven't read the book, i have scanned through it and had quite a laugh. i know one book wouldn't fix everything but i hope it's a start. the weird thing is i am related to a number gay men and i grew up knowing them. maybe to me being gay was just so natural that it didn't feel out of the usual heterosexual attraction that for me getting attracted to gay men is normal. i've never been attracted to another girl and i know i like men on which the truth is i either get attracted to loser guys or right gays and that needs remedy or else i'll forever be floundering in love and relationship limbo.

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